50 Shades of Abuse Flyer - Canada
Use, redistribute, print.
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Okay. I understood all the flack Twilight got for being an abusive relationship. Because it was and it was being read by a very young and impressionable audience. But ffs, 50 Shades is an ADULT NOVEL. Iit is about a BDSM couple. Which - newsflash - do exist. It is a completely consensual form of dominate/submissive sex play. The whole concept of domestic violence and abuse is that one side exerts control over an unwilling victim. I don’t recall Anastasia, or whatever she’s called, protesting to Christian’s form of sex. If I remember correctly, she quite enjoyed it! So before you condemn a work of romanticizedfiction, actually consider it’s audience and remember that they are mature and capable enough to know the difference between reality and fiction.
so i guess you didn’t read the parts where he coerces her and the part where he continues after she has used her safeword and acts like a fucking creep whenever they aren’t having sex
it is the worst possible introduction to BDSM i could imagine
i know my shit okay
im hoping the people defending this book are 1. never getting into BDSM 2. not currently into BDSM 3. havent read the book bc i dont want to believe anyone is that fucking stupid
knowledge on you right now.
Wanna know the BDSM mantra? Safe, sane, consensual.
So let me explain why this book was devoid of all three of these things.
Safe - In the first few chapters of the novel, Christian Grey tracks Ana’s cell phone to find her at a club. Takes her home when she’s drunk, changes her when she’s so intoxicated she doesn’t remember him doing so,and informs her he will be keeping tabs on her for her own benefit. This is not the behaviour of a respectable Dominant. This is the behaviour of a power hungry, abusive asshole who really can’t take no for an answer.
Sane - One of the most important parts of BDSM is aftercare. Scenes can be extremely traumatizing and intense for the submissive. Aftercare is anything from petting to cuddling to holding to sweet talking, whatever degree of gentleness a bottom would need to pull them out of “subspace”. How does Christian provide aftercare? He submits Ana to a traumatizing first time spanking experience AND THEN FUCKING LEAVES. AND GETS MAD THAT SHE DIDN’T TELL HIM SHE WAS UPSET. He’s the one who should fucking know better! That, again, is not the act of a responsible Dominant. It’s the act of a selfish abuser.
Consensual - Did I mention he undressed her when she was belligerently drunk? Tracked her phone to locate her? He also buys her a new car despite her saying no countless times. Now, consent is important for any kind of sexual activity at all. Consent means informed, consent means enthusiastic. Informed, enthusiastic consent. This is crucial in a BDSM setting. Scenes can be extremely intense, especially for the bottom. What is Christian’s form of obtaining consent? Handing Ana a fucking contract highlighting all the things he wants to do her asshole and asking her to sign it. She was a virgin (Don’t even get me fucking started.) who had never before been exposed to BDSM. Entering in that kind of relationship takes a gargantuan amount of trust and knowledge so you know exactly what you’re getting into. Not reading a list of kinks on a piece of paper and signing your rights to say no away. Christian didn’t offer her resources, he didn’t offer her information. He gave her an ultimatum. That is not the sort of consent a responsible Dom/me would seek from their submissive.
Fuck. This. book. It’s written in a shitty way, it’s a terrible example of a BDSM relationship (ask anybody already involved in the lifestyle and watch them go blue in the face just thinking about it), which is already faced with enough prejudice and misunderstand, and it romanticizes and glorifies abuse.
And this post is going into my bookmarks, because it is beautiful.
What scares me most is the fact that people, misinformed and ignorant people, will now try to enter the community/find play partners with the dangerous ideas of what BDSM is. They won’t respect a sub, they won’t listen.
And that can seriously hurt people. People can DIE.
When my mother asked me about this novel (when it began its boom in sales) I told her it was a very bad parody of erotic novel, with misinformation than it was a practice D/s that surely would become a best seller only by the people’s morbid curiosity. I recommended her read it and give me her point of view.
I asked to a classmate borrowed her book (I wouldn’t spend my money on that ‘novel’) and waited for my mom to give me her opinion.
I remember she looked at me and asked me if it really was so popular book. I said yes. She was horrified to learn that this toxic and destructive relationship was ‘popular’ among its readers… her face still etched in my mind. She wasn’t frightened by the D/s, BDSM or erotic issues; she feared for the clear psychological, physical and sexual abuse towards the protagonist.
She has worked with women who have been abused by their partners and read something like that in a book, a book that is popular, made her feel sick to who wrote it -who, ironically, is also a woman.
"How could this woman write something so degrading to another woman?", she asked me.
I didn’t know what to say to her.
He is a masterpiece of engineering.
"I’m gonna try not to cry," said the big-eyed brunette fan, quavery-voiced as she approached the microphone.
Forty feet away, the British actor seated at the dais in Comic-Con’s Hall H leaned forward and nodded benevolently.
"We’ll all try together," replied Benedict Cumberbatch.
Many a genre heartthrob has graced the stage at Comic-Con in years past, but the reaction to the 38-year-old Cumberbatch — who’s never made the trek to San Diego until now, despite a Con-worthy résumé that includes Star Trek Into Darkness and The Hobbit — was on a different level than the shrieks that used to greet Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson here. This felt personal. The women in this audience, whose crush on Cumberbatch was stoked initially by the BBC series Sherlock, had helped to make him a romantic lead and a movie star almost by sheer force of fervor, and now he had arrived to face his overcome creators at last.
"You exist!" he said to his fans as he took the stage to a cavernous ballroom lit up by raised iPhones. Mere minutes later, his name began trending on Twitter.
Cumberbatch was there at Comic-Con to promote, uh, the animated film Penguins of Madagascar. Sure, we’ll go with that. Rumor has it that Marvel will announce his casting as Dr. Strange during the studio’s Saturday panel, and Cumberbatch coyly fanned those flames of speculation when a fan asked him what superhero he’d like to play. “Nurse Normal,” he said, to crickets. Then, “That was a joke on Dr. Strange.”
But for the most part, he talked Penguins. (Moderator Craig Ferguson warned the audience in advance, “Any questions at the end of this about Sherlock, Comic-Con is canceled.”) In the film, spun off from the popular Madagascar series, Cumberbatch voices a wolf that recruits our titular birds to fight John Malkovich’s selfie-taking, villainous octopus.
Did he do any research for the role? Sure, joked Cumberbatch: “I worked undercover in Yellowstone Park as a wolf for a while. I was accepted right off the bat quite quickly, but it got pretty hairy — no pun intended — when I became the alpha male.” That notion prompted the woman next to me to let out a brief, guttural noise as Cumberbatch continued, “About a month into it, I realized that two of the other wolves were Christian Bale and Daniel Day-Lewis.”
The panel went mostly in that fashion, with Cumberbatch wafting complicated jokes through Hall H (whilst saying the word “whilst”) and discussing the notion of extraordinary rendition as he promoted an animated movie for children. Occasionally, the actor would say something vaguely sexual — when asked about taking live-action roles, he murmured, “I like to use my body, yeah” — and if you listened closely, you could hear Tumblr collapsing somewhere in the distance.
At one point, a fan asked Malkovich and Cumberbatch a suggestively worded question about the difference between films for children and, well, “adult movies.” Malkovich gamely went off on a tangent about how forbidden sexuality can be in most movies, and how verboten it was to show something onscreen as innocent as “a thigh or upper arm.” Cumberbatch misheard the latter. “Other arm?” he asked quizzically, and lasciviously. The joke dangled.
But with questions about his more fan-friendly properties mostly banned, the women in the audience were at a loss for what to ask Cumberbatch — only that they had to ask him something, lest they lose their big chance. The third time a nervous, grinning girl queried Cumberbatch about the difference between live-action acting and voice roles, Ferguson shot her question down on the grounds of redundancy.
"Oh, poor girl," murmured Cumberbatch into his microphone. "Do you want to ask another question? Ask what my shoe size is."
"What’s your shoe size?" asked the fan, to more shrieks.
Cumberbatch grinned. “It’s a whole other arm.”
I ship whatever I want to ship - and since I respect your ship, I want you to respect mine in return.